I love my Life... as it is

This was a post in my FB account... But many liked it. So its now in my blog:

As I reach a milestone in my life I ask God one wish:

Oh God! 
Let me live my life again
Turn back time and take me to that hospital cradle
Let me live my life again

I wish to face all my unhealthy nights again
On such nights I want to feel my Mom's hands on my forehead again
I wish to get annoyed again from my father
When he didnt fulfill my endless wishes
I wish to spend those unforgettable moments with my grandfather
I wish to hear to his advices again
I wish to see my sister fight for my rights again
I wish to feel the competition of St. Paul's School again
And feel again those early teen years crazing after girls
I want to crash again on my first bike ride
I wish to dream big again
I want to feel the passion to walk on a road
Not covered by anyone again
I wish to get guided by Father Roque again
I wish to be alone again in a big n unknown city
Drifting with the crowd and trying to be in d flow
I wish to make plans again to leave my country
And subsequently see them get crushed by life
I wish to feel the strength again to stand back
And smile at others with my hopeful eyes
I wish to thank my mom again for giving me a second life
I wish to get through that medicated depression again
And fight the darks inside me again
I wish to see the thin beam of light in utter darkness again
I want to see myself stand against myself again
I wish to be proud of me again for winning the internal war
I wish to thank myself again for dreaming again
I wish to b a part of a lovely Bschool called RIMS again
And meet and make new friends again
I wish to teach again to my students
More about life n less about finance
I wish to share my pains with Kalia again
I wish to feel happy again after getting what I deserved
I wish to feel eternal again
After being remembered by God.

Oh God ! Thank You for making each moment of my life special. They could not have been better. Others may complain that I saw too much pain. But Oh Lord ! they dont realize that at each of such juncture was my date with You. You carried me through all such pains. Oh God ! thanks again for such a wonderful life and hope that your blessings are always with me so that I can make others realize How Beautiful their life is.

Loneliness

I used to love loneliness. It was something I searched for so much. But I never knew that Loneliness hurts, specially when its u against whom u r fighting. The external shouts are no more there. U hardly hear the noises of people around u. The sound that u hear most is coming from within u. In the beginning the volume is low. But slowly the volume increases and there comes a time when u just wish it to stop. 

Although in ur loneliness u wonder and wait. Wait for people to call and interact. But they never do. U start imagining that the world has forgotten u. If u have a low self-esteem u shall not wait and try to interact. But most of us dont bcoz we can be ne thing but low. So u wait and wait...

Facebook, G+, Youtube are ur best friends now. U search for new things to give u that push. U check your mobile again and again, to see if some1 contacted u. Sometimes u hear the mobile notification ring, even if there is none. 

But loneliness has its benefits too. U can start analysing ur past and ur life come under a self-microscope. U realise why certain things happened through the lens of Karma. Loneliness help u to lose urself in the depth of something. But sadly I havent found that "something." I know if I have to b happy, I will have to find it. Loneliness is an instrument onto the road to God. In loneliness u do feel Him, u try to understand Him and u try to come close to Him.
So all my friends who are alone, literally or mentally, dont give-in to habits which will pluck your soul. Do connect to me. I may not be a great person but I am certainly some1 who will understand u.

WHEN SHALL WE MEET AGAIN MY FRIEND

A friendship which never matured

A conversation which never finished

A seat in ur cabin which never pinched

And those stories that we so sadly shared

Those early morning breakfasts

Where u accompanied me silently

Those secrets which I kept hidden from u

Till I was destined the scratched gold

Those cheap politics which we hated

And those words which u knew before I did

My departure and then urs

Left my dream to come back incomplete

A friendship which I never cemented

A friend whom I never encapsulated

But still I wished it to be there

Till I return from the journey

Thus u made me realize

What shall I return to

All known would have already left

I would not return to my old home

By the time I return

All would have changed

Just like you my friend

Many would have left

Leaving behind for me

Memories to remember n sob on.....

The sky, the poor and the dog

                         

 

Strokes of faded red, and sprays of bright yellow

Pinches of blue and bubbles of white

Watching the silver lining as it shone like a ring

Within few seconds the silver turned gold and then brass

Alas ! I watching this game mesmerized to be there

Realized the enormity of my creator

My eyes seemed small in this show of colours

And I a small event in the plan of grand events

Awestruck I moved my eyes to earthly moves

And I saw a rugged with clothes shackled to the empty body

A face with bones being the skin and the absence of cheeks

But it lacked no absence of  a smile

A smile so holy that I compared it to the wander in the sky

Suddenly I saw a limping dog crying with pain

I recognized the bitter act of one of the young motorbikes

The dog rubbing its hurt leg to the ground

With hope that the ground will absorb the pain

Looking above at the beauty of nature

It seemed he prayed to Lord to have mercy

Adjusting itself on the ground it slept as it cried to Him

Take me away its too much

As I watched struck, the sky, the rugged poor and this limping dog

I wondered if I was the instrument

I waited to see His magic

As I watched with hopes and desperation

I saw the rugged come near the dog and just waive his hands over its wounds

I expected no miracle and it didn’t happen

The poor watched into the watery eyes of the dog

And the dog stared back

It was as eyes were speaking and I was the audience

I forgot the spectacle in the sky and wandered my role in all this

And as the poor kept walking away from the dog

The dog slept no more

Cried no more

Silent as the sky above

The poor walked away

The dog stood up and kept on walking

Still limping and dragging itself

But as the dog crossed me

I saw in his eyes the sky

Sky which was more beautiful than in reality

As I watched two miracles that evening

I wandered to myself what was I clinging to

And the answer was HOPE

Hope that runs this world

And the world above.  

Lord Rama - the Purushottama

Lord Rama is also known as "Purushottama." It is said that "Ram se bada Ram ka naam." Ramayana is an epic which shows again n again how right conquers wrong. Although Raavana had many good qualities but he was punished for his wrong doings. Raavana never accepted Lord Raama or Hanumaan as avataras of God. Ramayana teaches us many great lessons with simple examples. Besides that Ramayana is also a sad story of the sacrifices of a king. Lord Rama is unable to live happily with mata Sita. Once bcoz of Ravana and once bcoz of principles. This shows us that principles are greater than ne1, even God. 

Lord Vishnu, as Rama n Krishna, showed that principles and responsibilities are greater than one's personal comforts. As Rama He suffered separation from mata Sita and as Krishna He suffered separation from mata Radha. So He shows us that duties are above all, even God and separation n sorrow r always part of great love stories. Even God cannot avoid d separation n sorrow that comes with Love.

Today we celebrate Ram Navami. All pay tribute to the valour of Lord Rama. I as a small bhakt of my Lord, pay my humble respects to Lord Rama who showed us that duties are more important than personal happiness and that great love stories always have as much sorrow as they have Love. Jai Sri Ram...   

Why did u do it ?

Days as in spring and soothing nights of summer

So happily we spent the time caring for none

Happy we were, both of us

I to get a good friend and u to get a seasoned carer

As we moved on, our relationship strengthened

We grew close

I still remember, we used to cry together,

I for not getting what I deserve

N u for not being able to give what I deserve.

Hours together we cried.

U took me to your dark past

N i supported you to get the courage to face it.

Hand in hand we fought together ur past.

I got u ready for a new battle

A battle which was much red and dark than ur past

We practised for hours and I toiled to get u ready

All throughout you didnt resist

I shared the smile of your feeling stronger

I felt like the writer of your destiny

And I taught you and gave you everything

For the battle u were about to fight

The d-day came and u fought it with strength and courage

But returning wounded from the battle

You went to your camp to rest

And the rest was long

For the next few days I couldnt find u

After some days we met

And this time, it seemed

It wasnt the same u

U had changed and u no more seeked me

Thus it went on for some days

But who knew this was the silence before the storm

The day came, but I wasnt ready

Nor in mind, heart or soul

U faced me no more

U didnt reply to my cries

I lay there in the dry field

As u werent there even to lift me

I cried and cried and the dry field kept sucking my tears

As they were never there

I called the Lord to intervene

But He didnt

I keep crying and moaning

People started gathering and throwing stones at me

I didnt care

As I wanted to leave my physical limits

And return no more to this heartless world

As days dried out and nights grew colder

I remained there in the field waiting for you

My cries grew louder

But none heard to them

And suddenly I saw u there in the crowd

I looked at u with a thirsty heart

U looked at me as if I had sinned

And as u came closer

My heart pounded in anticipation of a hug

Ur hands moved down

I thought u wanted to bow down

Watching u, I bowed before u could

So that u could understand my love

But as I bowed I saw u picking a stone

I now understood why you were there

I bowed no more

I stretched my hands and stood there

I waited for ur stone

And as it hit me, I felt no pain

I stood there in want of more

More came and this time larger ones

I felt no pain

I cried for more

And this time you encouraged others too

As a rain of stones fell on me

I cried your name

And slowly as I left this desolate world

I asked only one question,

“Why did you do it, why did u do it?”

This was my single entry into the Blogomania Competition at Cognizance-the 2013 Fest of IIT Roorkee. Probably lost it because I made only one entry (I think the min was 3). Neways Congrats to my Cousin Ananya Bhradwaj...  

Seven months and a different person

Its been seven months exactly since my last post. But what took me so long? Was it that I was involved in some kind of research or was I stuck in a particular survey or was I undergoing preparation for a specific test or ........ None of the above. But certainly in these seven months I have changed, my life has changed. I am no more the same person who used to be.

Seven months before something started and it ended in November 1, 2012, exactly. So we can divide the seven months into two parts. From July to November and November to February. I would call the time period from July to November as the Spring and the period from November to February as Autumn. These seven months were the best part of my as well as the worst part. But right now I am a much matured person than I was seven months before. 

God wanted me to go through this experience because He wanted me to teach a lesson. His way of teaching is different and the way He has taught me, I will never be able to forget it. I had undergone much of a physical strain in my life and has fought death many times. But what I went through in the last seven months is much tougher and it was much difficult than the physical problems I was facing. The best lessons are learnt when the effort to learn them is much more than that required for any other lesson. So what did I learn? What lessons did I receive from the Lord Himself? Well I cant write all of them but I can certainly share some.

First lesson : Never have expectations from any one, even if they are your parents. You are what you make of yourself. Dont look for any help. Bcoz its not coming. Face the problem alone and fight it. You and only you can face it and defeat it. The power comes from within.

Second lesson : Never loose faith on the Lord. It will seem that He is laughing as you cry every day. But its not true. Every day He is looking towards you for strength and hope. He will not help you. Bcoz if He helps then the purpose of the exercise will be lost. He wants you to rise-up and fight. So throughout the whole process, as you keep fighting, sometimes you lose faith on Him. But if you lose faith on Him then you lose the war. He never helps you but He certainly gives you the hope to rise back again and again. Throughout the whole process He is a spectator, cheering for you to win.

Third lesson :  Quite related to lesson no. 2, Never leave Goodness. Whatever problems you are going through is a test of your belief on rightness, truth and goodness. Never adopt untruth means to achieve your objective. Be true and follow the path of righteousness. Winning a prize by adopting rightful means is the only win. Cheating, treachery and badness will attract you many times but stick to goodness, bcoz its worth it.

Fourth lesson : God has given you a brain. Use it. There will be times when if you go with brain then u will b going with badness. Dont follow ur brain then. But rest all the times use ur brain and give it priority above ur heart. Be intelligent, but be in the side of truth & goodness always. 

In the past seven months life has taught me a lot of lessons. I shared with you four important ones. I hope that these will help u all.